10 good enough reasons why I haven't blogged.

10. The dog ate my keyboard.

9. Unable to work into most-popular Google Analytics search terms of "normal back hair quotient" and "lawn dart neighbor's goat liability" into posts.

8. Rising gas prices have inexplicably resulted in shorter, or combined, blog posts. Unfortunately, I've not been able to justify posting "2nd Most Interesting Occurrence During Today's Chair-Roll From Beth's Cubicle, Back to Mine ", or "Most Eco-Friendly Tips to Take Your Dog To Work, and Great Going Away Gifts for that Incorrigible Boss."

7. Nagging societal obligation to generously contribute Internet cache space and reserve for posts that don't contain my name as a trackback.

6. Still tweaking that RSS feed that will automatically read my postings to you in a voice not that dissimilar to pubescent teen struggling to reach those lower octaves when answering the phone and defending his masculinity and pride when he's referred to as "ma'am" by the caller on the other end.

5. Endured USA Network marathon of every episode of "My Two Dads", only to fall asleep during crucial paternity test results.

4. Overwhelming sense of self-martyrdom just for miraculously managing pesky work duties in between multiple IM messaging, My Space, Facebook, inconvenient proxy blocks on NCAA Final Four wagering, and crazy mandatory 90-day "probationary period", while constantly having to minimize my browser and carry on useless justification chats with IT department snoops.

3. Most time spent constantly hitting email "send/ receive" button, in hopes of earliest notification of landing that dream job; the one where I log in from home, and just show up somewhere on a computer screen via web-cam, greeted with acknowledging head nods by passers-by, and a cute little animated dog who pulls ticker tape out of a counter at the bottom of the monitor, tallying up my salary each moment.

Oh, and lunch would show up on my doorstep each day in a little Styrofoam container. Delivered by chocolate bunnies. Which I then eat their little ears for a snack.

2. Co-worker argument about merits of Liquid Paper vs Wite Out escalated in quite messy brawl...have been spending time covering up remnants of fisticuffs with Wite Out..I'll show him yet

1. So many words...so little knowledge of how to spell them correctly and string together in an interesting and cohesive narrative. And not enough caring about the final result.