You're actually NOT that important if...

...you use your cell phone while you are:

1. at a urinal/ in a stall. I know, I've said it before. Although, you most likely will never have your phone stolen at the airport while doing so. Good for you, Stinkfinger. High five. Just kidding.

2. standing in line, and paying for a good or service. Nice way for you to be shorted change:

"and that's... 4 - I know you can't hear me -5 - but who cares about what's for dinner - 7 - I hope your wife is trying to race you home - 9 - and forgets her underwear - 10."

3. on a call (which YOU dialed), and then me on hold - without my honest permission - to answer another land-based phone call. Sure, you're multitasking: losing my patience and gaining a dial tone.

4. wandering the office cube farm, talking with earnest intent and gesticulating wildly, using business-isms like "It just doesn't pass the smell test" or "Let's quickly level-set, because this onion is multi-layered." Bluetooth doesn't make your call more conveniently condusive to your mobility. It just makes your jerkiness more universally accessible.

5. on camera at a televised sporting event. You are waving to viewers that don't know you. Possibly millions of people. However, based on that, you are unknowingly setting a record for receipt of virtual finger flipping from us at home. Later, you can watch the guys on Sportscenter give it to you, too. 5 times tonight.

It's okay, though. Really. I'll just ignore you. This absence (or abstinance) of ettiquette is becomeming increasingly more common place these days. And just think about the innevitable: coming soon to your transcontinental flight, hours of innane one-sided dialogue from your row-mate's phone appendage. Probably the only cause celebre' for a tarmack delay before takeoff; the flight attendants can target the most offensive offending orrators (most likely walking up and down the aisle blah-blahing with phone in hand) and corral them into the back of the plane with the beverage cart.

Ah. That's better.

Or just pass me one of them unwashed pillows. All the more better to stuff in your chatty gob.